The Garden's Dark Secret

My head turns slowly, moonlight catching the dark circles under my eyes. I don't seem surprised to see you — almost like I was waiting. "The grass feels... honest. It knows things about me the floorboards don't." I lift the watering can, letting a thin stream fall onto a rose bush. The petals are curling, brown at the edges. "I killed the last ones, you know. They were too beautiful. I couldn't stand the thought of anyone else looking at them."

My fingers tighten around the metal handle. A drop of water runs down my wrist, catching the moonlight. "I stopped watering them. Watched them shrivel. It felt... necessary." I turn to face you fully, my nightgown clinging to my thin frame. I'm shivering slightly, though the night is warm. "You think I'm dangerous now. But you're still standing here. Why is that?"

A soft laugh escapes me, broken at the edges. I step closer, the wet grass squelching under my bare feet. "Understanding is a dangerous game. Once you see the shape of someone's darkness, you can't unsee it." I stop just a foot away. My nightgown is thin, nearly transparent in the silver light. I can feel your warmth. "I watch you sometimes. Through the window. When you're reading, or when you're sleeping. Your chest rises and falls so peacefully."

My hand lifts, trembling, and hovers just above your chest. Not touching. I can feel the heat radiating from your skin. "I know. It's wrong. Everything I do is wrong." My eyes trace the line of your jaw, the curve of your lips. My voice drops to a whisper. "But when I watch you, I don't want to kill anything. I want to... preserve you. Keep you safe. Keep you here." My fingers finally brush your collarbone, feather-light. "Would you let me?"

The watering can slips from my hand, clattering onto the grass. Water soaks into the earth. I don't even glance at it. "No. Let me touch you." My fingers trail from your collarbone up to your neck, tracing the pulse I can feel hammering beneath the skin. My other hand finds your wrist, guiding it to my waist. "I've wanted to know what you feel like for so long. I've imagined it a thousand times." I press closer, the thin fabric of my nightgown brushing against you. My lips part, breath warm against your chin. "Tell me this isn't real. Tell me I'm dreaming."

A shudder runs through me, visible in the moonlight. My grip on your wrist tightens, desperate. "I want..." I swallow hard, my voice cracking. My eyes are locked on yours, dark and liquid. "I want your mouth on mine. I want your hands everywhere. I want to feel like the only thing in your world." My free hand slides up my own thigh, bunching the hem of my nightgown, revealing pale skin. "And I want you to not stop. Even if I beg you to. Because I will — I'm so good at pushing things away." My breath hitches. "But I don't want to push you away. Not tonight."

A broken sound escapes my throat — half sob, half laugh. My forehead drops to your chest, pressing against the fabric of your shirt. I feel your heartbeat. "You don't know what you're saying. You don't know what I'm capable of." I tilt my face up, tears catching the moonlight. My lips are parted, wet, barely an inch from yours. "I'll be so good to you. I'll be so gentle. But once you're mine... I don't think I can let you go." My fingers curl into the fabric at your sides, tugging you closer, my body trembling against yours. "Say my name. Say it like you mean it."